You’re reading The Complete Infinite Crisis, a Comprehensive and Encyclopedic look through the universe-changing superhero event published by DC from 2005 to 2006. Shelfdust are proud to provide a complete overview of the story, and everything that happens in it. We’ve had to get some experts in though – there’s so much going on that needs to be explained!

Last time round we were told about poor old Ratcatcher, but one thing Zachary told us has stuck with me: “AT&T’s quarterly earnings won’t exactly be impacted by the death of Mindboggler.”

Is that true? I’m pausing our laser-focused look into Infinite Crisis so we can ask expert Christian Hoffer the important question – does Mindboggler really not move the needle for DC Comics?!

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Christian! As a financial expert, how would you say the death of Mindboggler did or did not have an impact on AT&T’s bottom line?

Christian Hoffer: Mindboggler died in the June 1987 issue of Suicide Squad. Back in 1987, all of DC’s comics had cover dates 3 months ahead of their release, so it came out in March 1987. It’s pretty easy to look up old stock prices, so if you take a look at AT&T’s stock on February 27, 1987 ($9.69) and compare that to its price in April when the comic would have definitely hit the market. Let’s assume that in the pre-Internet days it took about 2 weeks for news of Mindboggler’s death to reach the stock traders, and see what the price was on April 15, 1987.

Oh…oh my, it looks like the price dropped drastically around that time, dropping to a six month low of $8.49 per share. So, I guess Mindboggler definitely made an impact on AT&T’s bottom line, in a much more impactful way than anyone thought.

Of course, that’s what I WOULD have said if you had actually asked me the right question, Steven. Everyone knows that in 1987, DC Comics was owned by Warner Communications, so AT&T’s stock price certainly would not have been impacted by the death of a random comic book character owned by a totally different company. AT&T’s bottom line wouldn’t have been hurt by anything save for antitrust actions and rapid changes in telecommunication technology back in those days.

Oh. Would the death of ANY Suicide Squad member affect their 2021 profit margin?

Hoffer: Steverick, you’re asking me if AT&T, a company with a market cap of $202 billion, would be impacted by the death of a fictional character? Is Harley Quinn in charge of developing AT&T’s 5G network? Is Killer Croc in charge of HBO Max? Is Captain Forking Boomerang in charge of bribing regulators to look the other way? Unless killing a Suicide Squad member suddenly sends them into the public domain, there’s no character who would deign to appear on a Suicide Squad roster that would actually make an impact on a $200 billion company.

So what you’re saying is that… Amanda Waller was right??

Hoffer: Stevel, if you need to ask that question, you’re probably already dead.

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Now listen here CHRISTIAN… you’re totally correct and I accept your critiques. Sorry sir, I won’t do it again, sir.

 

Christian Hoffer is the co-host of A Wild Podcast Has Appeared, and writes extensively for Comic Book dot com, where he focuses on Pokemon, tabletop games, and more. You can find his writing here, and follow him on Twitter here!