The villains of Gotham are all holed up in a Greek Restaurant, planning their revenge. Catwoman, meanwhile, now owns a popular nightclub? A lot of things have been going on in the sidelines while we’ve been busy focusing on that Hush feller, but no worry, it’s time to get back into some heavier Gotham silliness – it’s Batman Eternal #37!

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Writer: Tim Seeley
Consulting Writers: Scott Snyder, Kyle Higgins, Ray Fawkes and James Tynion IV
Artist: Andrea Mutti
Colorist: Giulia Brusco
Letterer: Taylor Esposito

We start off this issue with Catwoman, who now owns a nightclub called “The Egyptian”. Every woman there is dressed like they’re five seconds away from being possessed by the Phoenix Force, whilst every man has a bad haircut. Pretty accurate work there, Fernando Blanco. Catwoman celebrates the nightclub as a great way to steal money from people, although there’s nothing which explains exactly what she’s stealing here. This is just… legitimate business. Selina heads up to her penthouse to hang out with all her cats, which of course gets interrupted by a ninja wielding a flaming sword. Tim Seeley wrote this issue.

She promptly beats up the “ghost dragon”, as she names the assassin, and kicks him out the window. But on the next page he’s still in the room, so she kicks him out the window a second time. Possibly needed an editor, that. As she does so she talks about how she is the new Kingpin in Gotham, how everybody is on her side, and how she’s the best, basically. It’s nice to hear a villainous monologue which doesn’t end with Batman punching someone.

Over at Batwing’s apartment, his mild flatmate staggers to the toilet after apparently eating some strong tacos. He blames the chorizo for some reason, which is probably the one ingredient in a taco which would never have caused him these issues. Stupid roommate – you definitely deserve to have the ghost of a mad old granny show you a blanket she’s made out of human skins. Conveniently, that’s exactly what happens! Luke finds the kid huddled up in a corner, shaking, which unfortunately for him would also be the reaction of anyone who has the meat sweats after eating too many tacos. That’s the conclusion Luke ultimately comes to.

At Gotham Port (we seriously need to take a bigger look at Gotham’s infrastructure, have they ALWAYS had a port?) Batman interrogates someone called “Longshore Louis” about human trafficking. Particularly he’s concerned that a number of A-List villains have escaped – Bane, Ivy, Scarecrow. The conversation is interrupted by Croc swinging a hook at them both, but only to get a bit of attention, not because he wants a fight, so that’s okay then. Croc says there’s no way anyone got smuggled out via the port because he would’ve eaten them with “a side of sweet potatoes and cheesy grits”, which sounds delicious. If I ever had to eat a Bane, that’s what I’d want accompanying.

Batman takes this opportunity to try and get Croc to fight him, which is a strange approach towards someone who is generally an ally, but Croc verbally takes him down, which is brilliant. Tim Seeley gives good Croc. Just as Batman swings away, Catwoman slinks in, to offer Croc an opportunity.

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At the nearest Greek restaurant, all the villains are holed up in one place, including several I thought got captured a while back… including, yes, Joker’s Daughter. Oh noooo! There’s an argument over who will be the leader, which neither Bane nor Ivy – who probably are the leaders – pay any attention to. Clayface acts as the voice of reason, and they basically all slowly fall into line with each other and form a united front. Oh sure, Bane complains a bit and cuts a promo, but he’s eventually swayed by Scarecrow’s promise of some nice enhanced drugs. As ever.

They form a team. In the pipes, a cat watches them all – and the cat has a camera round its neck.

At a different cafe, Maggie Sawyer and Harvey Bullock are having coffee and chatting about how grumpy they are. This would have made a good 22-page scene in Gotham Central, but here it’s sadly cut short by the arrival of Jason Bard, who comes in pleading for a bit of forgiveness and some help. He even melodramatically falls over on his cane in the process and asks for a hand up, which neither of the cops offer him. They walk off, which seems out of character for them, even if Bard has been annoying recently. He’s still their boss, right?

Back at the Greek restaurant, Bane is going all Rocky on a pig carcass. Ivy walks in, because she and Bane are basically the two leaders of this group and she wants to dominate him. That’s her thing, it’s what she does. Her pheromones don’t work on Bane though because he’s too extra for that, so instead she appeals to him as a chemist, promising better drugs than the ones Scarecrow would make for him. This is all under the watchful eye of Catwoman. She promptly summons Batman to her balcony using an impromptu bat-Signal, which he duly follows.

After a little posturing, she calms him down and offers him all the villains wrapped up in a bow – which makes Batman do a cute little Adam West face, bless. that’ll have to wait though, because Julia gets a call from Batwing… he’s being haunted, and could use a little help. If it’s not one thing it’s always the other with you, Batwing, isn’t it?

 

15 issues to go!

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