Justice League: No Justice is a four-part weekly series from DC which sees the Justice League, Teen Titans, Suicide Squad and, uh, the Titans assembled into a series of unexpected teams in the face of an oncoming massive threat of cosmic scale. Brainiac is the leader, Damian Wayne is the moral conscience, and there’s a big starfish thing hanging out too. Come along, friends, and hopefully at some point along the way somebody will explain how magical trees are key to stopping universal monsters from eating planets.

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Martian Manhunter who has clearly been marked out as the lead character for this series, starts things off by having a formal heart to heart with a giant starfish. So far Starro has been in this series mostly so we can all have a good laugh at the sinister starfish, but it looks like here they’re starting to try and develop him a little beyond his looks. He’s taken to referring to J’onn as “Marty”, which of course immediately leads you to wonder what it’d be like if this series spins off into a time-travelling buddy comedy.

Lobo is still carrying around a hook which is inexplicably attached to nothing, and now he’s using it to threaten Brainiac 2.0 – who turns out to be Brainiac’s son. He’s also a bit of a moaner, whining how they’re got no hope, there’s no chance for them to survive, colossal titans are eating his home planet, wah wah wah. Surprisingly this doesn’t impress a room which includes Lobo, Lex Luthor and Batman, although actually it’s Beast Boy who seems most pissed off. Maybe he’s upset that he’s finally found a fellow green nerd… only to find out that this new guy sucks.

Speaking of Green nerds, back on Earth we return to Green Arrow and Amanda Waller. They’ve found the homing beacon on Earth, but destroying it means that all the heroes on Earth will die in the process. Amanda wants to destroy it, Oliver doesn’t, stalemate.

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On Colu, the teams have worked out that Brainiac has done something to their suits which weakens them all, and makes them unable to use all their powers. Why has he done this? Erm… no idea. He’s also made it so it’s impossible for any of them to take their clothes off, which is also, uh, and interesting choice. None of Wonder Woman’s team can get their magic to work properly, because they need to be able to concentrate. That is, they all need to concentrate apart from Wonder Woman, who – if you hadn’t remembered – is bloody Wonder Woman.

She charges at the tree and starts choking it out with her lasso, which apparently brings the tree back to life. This is a good thing, and I think means that two of the trees have been… well I don’t want to say “saved” because some of them are meant to be destroyed, and I don’t want to say “defeated” because they’re… trees. I dunno.

Over with Team Wisdom, and they’re also trying to deal with how Brainiac has crippled their tech. Harley, who I imagine does not know what any of her team have been saying this entire time, suggests they bring in a unicorn, which inspires Cyborg to do some computer stuff and download the tree. The lights start going dim, which means good things?

Team Mystery have the biggest challenge, because they have to rescue thousands of bottle universes and bring them back to life. Theirs is the last tree that needs to be dealt with, so all the other teams get together to distract the Titan for as long as possible. It seems like Starro has to do all the work here while the rest of its team cheer him on – which is an important role too, of course, we all need moral support from time to time. It grows to colossal size and starts gloating about how powerful it is, only to turn its back to the Titan and promptly get ripped apart. Ew.

Just before Starro gets gorily dispatched, Sinestro and Starfire throw all the bottle universes into a nearby Sun, I think, which will apparently bring them back to life. I appreciate that the heroes are all improvising here, but this does seem like an unlikely way to rescue thousands of worlds. The Titan, rudely ignoring the trees entirely, now increases in size and eats Colu. RIP everyone!

On Earth, the death of Colu means that the seed sprouts four new trees round the world. One is at S.T.A.R. Labs, one at Belle Reve, one at the Tower of Fate and one at the Fortress of Solitude. Convenient!

Green Arrow ends his standoff with Waller by shooting an arrow directly into the barrel of her gun, which I didn’t think would work. He takes over her radio and tells her bosses to try and call the Green Lantern Corps in to save the day. He’s determined that the day can still be saved, but she’s a little less sure – because there are three giant Titans just arrived at Earth, staring down at the planet and ready to tuck in.

One of them looks a bit like Darkhawk. Cute!

To be Concluded!

Justice League: No Justice #3
Written by Scott Snyder, Joshua Williamson and James Tynion IV
Pencilled by Riley Rossmo and Marcus To
Coloured by Hi-Fi
Lettered by AndWorld Design
Published by DC Comics

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